The Eight Deaths of Richard Castle
by caffinate-me
Summary: Sequel to The Nine Lives of Katherine Beckett. "What did you think about?". "All the different ways I could murder you and not get caught.". "So how many did you come up with?". "Eight." 2nd in The Numbers Series.
1. Chapter 1

The Eight Deaths of Richard Castle

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of its characters. I just like to take them out to play every once in a while

A/N: Here is the beginning of the sequel to The Nine Lives of Katherine Beckett and the next installment of what I have come to call The Number Series. Thank you so much to everyone that has read Nine Lives and is sticking with me. Trust me, this one is going to be interesting. I love to hear what you think so don't be shy! Reviews are love.

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><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

Kate turned over the face the edge of the bed and she felt Rick snuggle up to her back, wrapping his arm securely around her middle, pressing the cool sheet against her bare skin. He let out a hum of contentment and she felt it vibrate through her ear and jaw.

_Kate could have sworn someone was staring at her as her mind swum back into consciousness. She tried to snuggle deeper into the warm pillow under her body, but she kept hearing hushed voices whispering around her. With a sigh she cracked an eye open and blinked a couple of times as the back of Castle's couch came into focus. She brought a hand up to rub her eyes, raw and puffy from falling asleep so soon after crying. The voices stopped with her movement and as her mind became more aware she realized her body pillow was breathing. _

"_What…?" She began, as she realized she was snuggled cozily against Castle's chest. The events of the few hours before came flooding back to her and she tried to twist around when she heard a throat clearing gently behind her. _

_Rick's arm tightened around her middle as she tried to turn, causing her body to contort awkwardly until she could take in the sight of Castle's mother standing over her, with an elated grin on her face and Alexis standing slightly behind her. The teenager offered an awkwardly shy wave as Kate stared at her in the glaring morning light. Rick grumbled in his sleep and Kate was forced to turn back to her previous position as his arm adjusted around her waist._

_Kate huffed gently, red heat rising up her neck, across her cheek and to the tips of her ears. _

"_Martha, I…"_

_The older woman placed a hand gently on Kate's head, patting it softly. "Don't worry, dear, we will have plenty of time to talk later."_

_Kate closed her eyes in embarrassment at the older woman's smug, knowing tone._

"_Oh, and Kate," Martha started again and the burning made it's way through Kate's scalp and she tried to bury her head in Castle's chest at her next words. "Richard does have a very comfortable bed, but I am sure you will find that out soon enough for yourself, dear."_

_Kate felt the rhythmic breathing rumble into a laugh, his pretense of sleeping falling away, as she groaned into Rick's chest again. _

"_You are such a liar," she chastised at him as she pressed a smile into his neck. _

"_But you still love me," his sleepy voice rumbled only loud enough for her to hear._

"_Yeah, I still love you."_

He was happy. She was happy. It had been three months of arguments and bickering, laughter and pure happiness. It had been three months since she had broken down on his couch and told him how she really felt. She had let a crack in the wall show and she was so glad. It was the best decision she had ever made, to allow him into the fortress.

The wall was still there, secure, to protect her heart from the evils of the outside world, but she had allowed him in. He wasn't going to hurt her. He had promised he would never hurt her.

The street lamp peeked in through the curtains and she placed her hand on top of his, sandwiching it between her palm and belly. She could feel him breathing as his chest rose and fell against her back. It was perfect. They were perfect. It was just as it was before— teasing, playing, fighting. The only difference was that now they would make their way home together most nights.

A small grin grew on her lips as she measured the space between his breaths. She waited while they evened out and paused to listen for the small, soft telltale snores. Satisfied that he was finally asleep she peeled his arm and the blanket off of her and slipped softly out of the bed, letting her feet hit the floor with a soft thump. She shivered slightly in the cool February air as she searched for something to cover her naked body. Her scar pulled slightly as she stretched her arms through the sleeves of Rick's button up shirts, but it didn't bother her anymore. It was no longer a reminder that she had almost died; instead that she was alive.

He had studied the scar the first time he had seen it. He had paused from undressing her and run his fingers over the raised surface time and time again. It had been as if he had been praying. Worshiping it in some bizarre way. He had stared at it for long minutes as she lay there half dressed on top of his bed, her hand running through his hair. Reassuring him that she was there, with him, alive.

She was alive.

She crept out of the bedroom, pausing as the door quietly slipped shut behind her. She listened for any sign of movement from the bedroom and let out a small sigh of relief at the silence that answered. With practiced feet she darted across the living room on her tip toes, the tail of Rick's shirt flapping gently against the back of her naked thighs as she went. A small smile graced her lips and laughter glinted in her eyes. He had been teasing her for the last month with torturous hints about the plot of his latest novel and she had had enough. She wanted to know and all she could get out of him were cryptic responses and an impish grin. So, really her actions were justified, she rationalized, as she made her way through the open door of his office and stood in front of his fictional murder board.

She was the inspiration for Nikki Heat. She deserved to know what mess her alter ego was about to get herself into.

She bit her lip gently to suppress her grin as she finished rationalizing her uncharacteristically devious behavior, and bounced on the balls of her feet as her finger tapped gently on the screen. Her stomach fluttered softly as her picture appeared in front of her and she paused to glance around as her finger continued to hover over the photo. Satisfied that she was still alone and the rest of the apartment was still asleep she let her finger press against the monitor once more.

That same flutter in her stomach churned into a nauseating pit as she stumbled back to sink into her favorite chair. Her eyes never left the faces staring back at her. The faces that haunted her dreams and lived in her nightmares. She could feel the shock rush through her body and the bile rise in her throat.

Why would he? How could he?

_You are such a liar. _

The teasing words repeated and morphed in her mind, twirling around in circles as the nausea fought to over take her.

_But you still love me._

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as her lungs burned from ragged breaths.

_Yeah, I still love you._

Her heart broke a little bit inside as the faces stared back at her. Deceased.

_Gone. They're all gone, Castle._

The nausea churned into a red-hot anger in her stomach and her hand clenched into a fist at her side. Balling up the hem of his shirt hanging limply off of her body.

She was going to kill him.

She had let herself be happy and alive with him. She had the scars to prove it.


	2. Chapter 2

The Eight Deaths of Richard Castle

A/N: Thank you to all of you who have reviewed, favorited and alerted this story. I really am glad to know that you like it and want to see more! On that note, I am going to shamelessly plug my other story- The Western Way Redux. I know it sounds like a weird concept, Castle in the wild west, but according to the reviews people really like it so please go, check it out and let me know what you think. :)

Remember, reviews are love! and now on to chapter 2. :)

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

Rick Castle rolled over in his sinfully comfortable bed, his arm slinging out to wrap around the warm body cuddled up next to him, only to feel it land on the cool Egyptian cotton sheet and not Kate Beckett. Castle opened one eye and glanced around the dark room as his mind caught up with the scene around him. There was no Kate. There was no light under the bathroom door and he could hear no water running. Slowly he reached out a hand, flexing his fingers to wake them as he felt for the light switch. Her clothes were still in scattered piles across the floor so he knew she hadn't gone home and her badge and gun were still on the table on the other side of the bed next to her father's watch and her cell phone so he knew she definitely hadn't been called into work.

He rolled out of bed and landed on the floor with a less than graceful thump, wincing as the jolt shot tingling pain through his knee. He was nearing forty and things were beginning to not work as well as they used to. Quickly, he threw on a pair of Green Lantern pajama pants, he may be old in the body, but he was still young at heart, and made his way towards the door. He padded across the carpet blearily only to stumble over Kate's pair impossibly high stilettos. They were still lying haphazardly by the door where she had kicked them earlier, and winced as he rolled his still tender ankle.

"_Castle?" Kate let out a barking laugh as she stared at him in disbelief. "What are you doing?"_

_Rick's eyes shot up and he found himself staring up at the laughing eyes of Kate Beckett: shoe shopper extraordinaire. It was a side of her that he was definitely not used to seeing. He hadn't thought twice about inviting himself along earlier that morning when she had said that she had to do some shopping. Of course, because the contents of her refrigerator included exactly one bottle of mustard, two thirds of a six pack of Pumpkin Spice Ale and half of a questionable onion, when she said that she had to go shopping he had assumed she meant grocery shopping not the semi annual clearance sale in the shoe department at Nordstrom. He had never really imagined the great Detective Beckett shopping for shoes in the first place. Instead, he had always just thought that the impressive four-inch stilettos simply magically appeared in her closet. But, now, here she was staring down at him with far too many boxes overflowing from her arms. _

"_I, umm, I got bored?" His response came out as more of a question than a statement and he attempted to look dignified as he sat before his overly amused girlfriend in the middle of the women's shoe department on a far to hard vinyl covered bench with his foot sticking halfway out of a black patent leather pump. Kate quirked an eyebrow at him in reply. _

"_You got bored, so you decided to try on women's shoes?"_

_There was the incredulous Beckett tone he knew and loved. _

"_Yes?"_

_He slipped his heel the rest of the way into the shoe and held out his arms as she shook her head and stared at in unmasked disbelief. _

"_Help me up."_

"_What?"_

"_I want to see how you manage to walk in these things, so help me stand up."_

_He continued to hold out his arms with an expectant look on his face, like a child waiting to be picked up while Kate stared back at him with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. With a small, amused snort she finally relented and put her pile of boxes on the bench next to him before grasping his outstretched and hands and pulling him up with a huff. Her hand automatically went to his waist to steady him as he teetered on the three-inch heels and she glanced back down at his now empty shoebox. _

"_How did you manage to find size 16 heels anyway?"_

_Castle's ankles wobbled and he put his hands on her shoulder to help regain his balance. The combination of his added three inches and the fact that she was standing barefoot with her toes wiggling against the dusty wooden floor, made him tower almost a full foot above her. _

"_Oh, that was easy. I told that nice young man behind you that I was a drag queen in need of some new pumps and he was more than happy to dig these out from the back for me. He has been extremely attentive ever since."_

_Kate swiveled her head around to look back over her shoulder and saw a young man giving her boyfriend a friendly wink and a small finger wave. _

"_Seriously?"  
><em>

_Castle gave her his best innocent look and nodded as he attempted to take a step. _

"_Roderick has been a perfect gentleman."_

_With a second wobbly step his ankle rolled and he let out a yelp in pain as Kate attempted to help him sit back down. He sucked in an indignant breath of air and rubbed his aching ankle furiously._

"_I now think you are either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid for running after suspects in these things on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, it is sexy as hell, but how have you not broken something?"_

_Kate just chuckled and patted him on the knee as she sat down on the bench next to him and pulled up her first box. "Practice."_

Castle let out a small laugh at the memory and made his way to peer in the kitchen, only to find it empty. He laughed again as he made his way back through the living room and smiled as he made his way towards the soft glow emanating from his office. He could tell that she was happy. It was in the little things. The jokes that she told and the hardened edges that melted away when they were alone together. He had started to see a softer side of her and he was glad. It wasn't perfect but they were good together. He had always known that they would be, but now he had proof.

He stepped through the doorway of his study only to have his giddiness fall away when he saw her sitting in her favorite overstuffed leather chair with her elbows propped on her knees, hands pressed to her face. She was rocking back and forth murmuring to herself incoherently. When she failed to notice his presence, he looked up to follow her eye line to the illuminated murder board.

Oh, no.

"Kate…" he began, only to have his arsenal of words fail him.

She sat there, rocking; her voice raw and forced when she finally spoke.

"Castle, what did you do?"

Castle watched the woman in front of him as he grasped for the words to explain, to let her know that he was doing this for her to save her from the evils out there that wanted her dead, to save her from herself.

"Kate, I…"

But he couldn't force them past his lips and she was standing now, facing him, and he watched as the look of horror and betrayal on her face morphed into anger.

"Were you planning on writing about this?"

"What? Oh, Kate, no."

"Then, why Castle? Why do you have this up here?"

It was her interrogation voice, and she was gaining strength as she stalked towards him with her with an arm gesturing in front of her, a completely paradoxical sight with her hair waving down past her face and his shirt hanging off of her body.

"Kate, please. Just calm down."

"No!"

It came out as a scream and Castle stopped in mid-step from where he had been backing into the living room, and away from the offending lists of people and events in the study. She had never yelled before. When Kate got upset she got quiet, she talked in controlled hushed tones and the anger rolled off of her in waves, radiating through everyone around her, but not this time. This time she was screaming at him.

"No, you do not get to tell me to calm down! What were you doing in there, Castle?"

There was a thump from upstairs and Rick fleetingly glanced up as the hall light flickered on.

"I can't tell you, Kate."

"Like hell you can't."

With that Kate Beckett pushed past him and into the bedroom, fury radiating off of her like a furnace, heating the entire apartment as she went. Castle looked up as she went to find Alexis and Martha staring down at them from the steps. They must have been a sight, him in only pajama pants and her clad in only his shirt yelling at each other in the dark living room in the middle of the night.

Then as quickly as she had made her way by him she was back, in jeans and boots, pulling her hair up in a messy bun.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here."

"No, Kate, please. Just let me explain."

"You just said you couldn't tell me. So, what is there to explain?"

Castle reached out and caught her wrist as she neared the door and she stopped. A completely new look of disbelief and betrayal flying across her features and he dropped her arm as quickly as he had captured it.

"Never touch me again."

All he could do was watch as the door slammed behind her, the sound echoing the venom in her voice. He turned to look up at his family only to turn away when he couldn't take the look of pity in their eyes. This was his fault. Slowly he turned back towards his room, closing the door softly behind him as he made his way to sit on the bed staring at the shoes lying there on the floor.

"_You aren't seriously going to get those?" She looked over at him questioningly as he put his larger box next to her expectant purchases on the counter. _

"_Of course, I am. I now have a spectacular idea for a Halloween costume and I couldn't possibly disappoint Roderick, now could I? He gave me his number you know." Rick held up his palm like a prized possession to show off the scrawled numbers. _

"_You know, I am not sure which is worse: that my boyfriend is excited about getting the number of a man in a shoe store, or that I am not surprised by it at all."_

"_Plus," he added as Kate signed the credit slip and gave the cashier an exasperated smile. "I think they make my butt look cute."_

"_Okay, RuPaul," she replied, dragging the overfilled bag off of the counter with one hand and grabbing his with her other. "Let's go home."_

Home. She called the loft home.

He hung his head. How come his words always failed him when they were the most important?


	3. Chapter 3

The Eight Deaths of Richard Castle

Disclaimer: Castle, all of its characters and ideas belong to ABC and Andrew Marlowe. All quotes in italics are taken from 4x01 Rise. They do not belong to me.

A/n: Thank you so much to everyone reading, reviewing, liking, favoriting, alerting, etc. I am so glad you are enjoying this. About this chapter: yeah, so reviews are love, please just don't kill me.

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><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

Kate pushed through the front doors of the apartment building and made her way out into the night. Ernie, the night doorman, had given her a polite if not worried smile as she had hurried past him; arms wrapped securely around her middle, bunching Castle's too large button down against her stomach and ribs.

He was a good man, Ernie. He had always flirted with her, even the first times she had visited the condo more than three years ago. Kate had found it a little bit creepy at the time, but now she just found the seventy-five year old man adorable. Now, she flirted back, making up stories about how they would run away together as Castle looked affronted with his arm wrapped securely around her waist. Three months ago he hadn't questioned her further than a concerned 'are you alright?' when she had shown up in her pajamas and he had given Rick a pointed stare that clearly stated 'if you mess this up you are a fool' when he had walked her down to get a cab the next morning. Now, she couldn't handle his friendly banter and concerned glances. Right now she breezed past Ernie and through the doors into the bustling New York night.

Her thumb brushed against scar, rubbing it through the soft fabric. Her chest heaved and she felt the scar pull. It burned and sent a sharp tingling through her chest.

"_Castle, I'm fine." _

"_No, you're not. And you know you're not. You've been back here three days and you are already in a free fall."_

Kate pressed her hand to her chest as she wound through the people dancing drunkenly down the sidewalks. Her mind flashed to her own murder board, so covered and congested that it almost blocked out the light attempting to stream through that window in her apartment. She always closed it when company came over. It wasn't something she was ashamed of; it was simply something she didn't want anyone else to know about, but she had let him know about it. She had let him in and he had convinced her to walk away.

She had taken it down: the board. The pages, pictures, post-its and files were all packed in a box sitting in her hall closet. She had stared at the window for hours the day after she had confessed that she loved him, too. She thought about her mother and her father and how happy they had been. She had thought about Royce, Will, Demming and Josh. They had all come second— second to her job, second to her mother, second to Castle. But now, here she sat with her mother's murder laid out in front of her and Castle's ring tone playing on her phone. She could hear his voice before she answered, explaining that he wasn't trying to push her, he just wanted to make sure she was okay, to ask her to come over for dinner. Martha and Alexis would be gone, it would just be the two of them and they could talk. She smiled at the tone in his voice, the way the unspoken innuendo wove its way into the word: talk.

She had stared up at her mother's face, from where she sat cross-legged on the floor.

"_I'm not saying walk away, I'm just saying give it time."_

"_How am I supposed to get my bearings when someone out there wants me dead?"_

"_By not letting them rob you of your life." _

With a deep breath she had pushed herself up off the floor and gently pulled the documents off of the window one by one, folding the tape over methodically as she went so nothing got ruined. She wasn't giving up; she was just giving it time.

Finally, she took down her mother's picture and ran her fingers softly over the older woman's face. A sad smile played across her lips; she wasn't going to let this rob her of her life anymore.

"_We're going to figure this out. We are going to find them and make them pay. Just not today."_

She would figure it out. It had been twelve years, people had died, and she had been shot. She wasn't giving up, she wasn't backing down; she was simply giving herself back her life. Then they would figure it out, together.

Together.

The faces on the screen flashed back at her. He had been the one to convince her to give it up, to not let it consume her life, so why would he continue to look into it?

"_I'm not going to be able to have the kind of relationship that I want until that wall comes down. And that's not going to happen until I put this thing to rest."_

"_Look at me, Kate. Don't leave me. I love you, Kate."_

She let out a huff as she scoffed at the memories echoing in her head. Could it really be that simple? Could he have just done it to get into her pants? Anger shot up through her chest, burning at her stomach and lungs, stinging her heart and making her scar burn. He wouldn't. Would he?

She shook her head and pushed a clump of unruly hair back behind her ear. She couldn't think about this right now. The thoughts were reeling through her head, twisting and turning, morphing and winding as they went. The spiraled and she stopped to lean against the brick wall of a random apartment building. The sobs were building in her chest again and she gasped. She could feel the panic rising inside of her and she struggled to pull in a breath, forcing it into her constricted lungs. Her head was bent between her legs and her knees threatened to give out. She had to pull herself together.

Slowly she stood back up and attempted to straighten her hair. She pulled a sleeved hand over her face and leaned back as her lungs finally filled with air, causing her head to stop spinning. She felt at her pockets and sighed. She had nothing, her keys, phone, and money: it was all in the room. She couldn't go to her apartment; she couldn't go back to his. The precinct was miles away. Slowly she pushed herself off of the wall and shuffled down the street. She turned around in a slow circle, taking in the street signs, getting her bearings. She hadn't looked at where she had been walking. She was at least half an hour away from the loft. The digital clock at a bank flashed that it was 12:30am. A shiver ran up her spine. She was freezing. It was the middle of winter and she was walking around without a jacket.

Making her way across the street, she pulled open the door to the building and glanced out of the corner of her eye at the doorman. He looked at her curiously but let her pass. It had been a while, but he still recognized her. She pulled the collar of the shirt into her mouth as she stood in the elevator but pushed it back down after a second. It still smelled like him. The bell let out a small chime as the door slid open and Kate hesitated before stepping into the hall. This wasn't a good idea. Her entire self: body, mind and spirit were yelling it at her. Telling her to turn around.

Go home.

Her hand hovered over the door after she had already knocked, too late to take it back, to undo the sound, but part of her wanting to do it all the same. This was a bad idea, the voice screamed in the back of her mind. She should just run like she was a teenager pulling a prank.

The door swung open and Kate dropped her hand.

"Kate? What are you doing here?"

Kate stood there staring at the body blocking the open doorway. She swallowed and pushed a phantom patch of hair behind her ear self-consciously. This was a bad idea. _Just go home. Tell him that this was a bad idea and that you have to go. Just leave._

She looked up.

"Josh. Hi."


	4. Chapter 4

The Eight Deaths of Richard Castle 

A/N: So... Thank you for the awesome reviews and for giving me the benefit of the doubt by coming back and reading some more. If you are new to this story then welcome! This is the second to last chapter, but have no fear the next in the series The Seven Sins of Two Women will be up soon... and by soon, I mean after my 3 research papers, two test, & two presentations are done and I get my sanity back. yay. Anyway, I make no promises until then, but who knows, I may decide writing is more important than sleep.

Anyway, here is chapter 4, I wasn't too sure about this chapter, but I couldn't think of another way to make it go. So, please let me know what you think! Remember, reviews are love. :)

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><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

"Not that I am complaining, Kate, because I told you when we broke up that if you ever needed anything that I would be here for you. I meant that. But we haven't even spoken in almost a year and you just showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night. So, what's going on?"

Kate looked up from her place on the couch as Josh walked back into the living room, now dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. His bare feet padded over to sit in a black leather chair that sat perpendicular to the couch. The chair reminded her of the one in Castle's office, the one where she would curl up and read while he typed furiously on his laptop, the one where she had sat while she had been staring at the murder board…

Her eyes snapped up as her brain popped back into the present. Why was she here, again? Kate let out a sigh and rubbed her forehead.

"I just needed someone to talk to, someone not involved, and I'm pretty sure my therapist doesn't hold office hours this late."

Se offered up a small, self-deprecating smile as Josh leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands through his hair.

"What about Lanie or…" Josh paused. "Or Castle? Wouldn't they be better to talk to? They would probably understand more."

Kate felt herself flinch at the mention of Castle's name and Josh let out a small laugh. "Oh, this has to do with Castle."

Kate looked at the man sitting in front of her. She was about to talk to her ex-boyfriend about her current boyfriend who also happened to be the reason why they broke up in the first place. She might actually be insane.

"Yeah, it has to do with Castle."

Josh sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "Okay, lay it on me."

"Seriously? You want to hear about this?" Kate felt her eyebrows rise up to her hairline.

"Well, no, not really. But you need someone to listen, so here I am. I can see if I remember anything from my psych rotation. Please, madam, tell me your troubles."

Kate grinned as Josh attempted a Freudian accent and settled back into the couch as he grinned back, relieved that he had at least made her smile.

"We've been seeing each other for about three months now," she started and looked down at her hands. She couldn't look at him while she told him; the guilt was still there gnawing at her gut. She had dated him while she was in love with someone else.

"Good."

Kate looked up startled at the response. "What?"

Josh opened his mouth to speak but the turning of the deadbolt on the door caught both of their attention and Kate turned her head to look at the door behind her.

"Josh, hi, sorry I'm late…"

Kate watched as a blonde woman in blue scrubs made her way through the doorway and pause as their eyes locked.

"Janelle." Josh pushed himself out of his seat and made his way over to the woman. "Janelle, this is Kate, an old friend."

Josh paused and cleared his throat as the awkwardness began to fill the air. "Kate, this is Janelle, my fiancé."

Fiancé: the word his Kate's gut like a fist. She had no right to be jealous. She had broken up with him; she was in love with another man. An incredibly stupid man at the moment, but another man nonetheless. But, fiancé? It hadn't even been year. She could feel herself staring at the blonde and forced her hand up into a wave.

"Hi," she forced out before turning back around on the couch, giving the couple a little bit of privacy. Her eyes moved around the apartment, taking in the small changes. She hadn't noticed them before but they were there. Pictures, trinkets, a throw blanket. All signed that someone else lived here now.

She looked up as Josh, once again, sat down in the black leather chair, his clasped hands resting on his knees.

"Congratulations," she heard herself say. "Where did you meet?"

Josh looked up at her, "Haiti. Right after we broke up I went back for a month. Janelle was there and we got to talking, found out we were both from The City. I guess you could say that we just had this connection."

Kate smiled. She could definitely understand "the connection"— the electric shock, the jolt of electricity making your body tingle from your fingers to your toes.

"I can definitely understand the connection."

Josh looked at her and laughed. He understood her. They understood each other.

The bedroom door creaked open softly and Kate watched as Janelle walked into the kitchen, now changed out of her scrubs and mirroring Josh in jeans and a shirt.

"Are you happy Josh?"

"Very."

Kate nodded and let out a sigh as she leaned back into the couch again. "I should go."

"No," Josh shook his head and reached out to place his hand on her knee. "You need to talk so talk. Maybe I can actually help. We may have never been in love with each other, Kate, but I really did care about you. I still do."

Kate sighed again and looked up startled as a cup of tea appeared in front of her face. She took the cup, cradling it in her hands as Janelle gave her a small smile and moved to sit in the second leather chair.

Kate's eyes bounced between the couple. She couldn't blame the woman. If one of Rick's ex's showed up in the middle of the night, she wouldn't want to leave them alone together either.

Oh, what the hell.

"Do you remember what I told you about my mother's murder?" Josh tilted his head into an exasperated look causing Kate to let a small laugh. "Of course you remember."

She paused, put a hand to her scar and let her eyes drift over the Janelle for a moment before focusing back on Josh. "After I recovered from getting shot and went back to the precinct I learned that the investigation had been closed because there was no more evidence. The new captain wouldn't let us investigate my mother's murder anymore and she told the boys to move on from investigating my shooting."

Kate snorted softly like it was a cruel joke and brought the cup of hot tea to her lips. "I kept on investigating behind Gates' back and I started to spiral again. Castle came to me and told me to walk away. He told me to let it go, and move on with my life. I was so angry with him, but I listened. I backed away but I knew once I got my bearing again we would go back to it together. Like we always did…

"He told me he loved me, Josh. When I was shot, he told me as I was dying in the grass. When I got back, I told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship. You and I had just broken up and I had just returned to the precinct and I was still spiraling. I wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone let alone with him.

"Then, three months ago there was a bank robbery and Castle almost died, not because he was shadowing me or for any reason other than he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I realized that maybe we didn't have all the time in the world. I wouldn't always be there to protect him. We started seeing each other."

Kate's voice drifted off. This was a bad idea, sitting telling her ex and his new fiancé about her relationship drama.

"Kate, stop thinking and just talk. I'm not mad at you. I knew."

"What?"

"Katie, for such a closed off person you wear your emotions on your sleeve. A blind person could see that you were in love with Richard Castle. Why do you think I hated him so much?"

Kate laughed softly. So this cruel universe had a sense of humor now. Who knew?

She studied the man in front of her. He was a good man. Janelle was a lucky woman.

"Anyway, long story somewhat shorter. I found out tonight that he has been investigating the murder behind my back. I exploded. He told me to walk away, to give it up and then he kept on investigating. And to make matters worse he had the audacity to say he couldn't tell me what was going. He was investigating my mom's murder, my shooting and he wouldn't tell me? So, I screamed at him and I took off. I walked and ended up here."

Josh looked at her for a long moment as she pulled the hair tie out of her hair and let it tumble down over her shoulders. She picked at the hem of her shirt, _Castle's shirt._ She could feel his eyes studying her. She could here Janelle breathing, probably wondering who the crazy woman was sitting on the couch.

"Are you happy, Kate?" Kate's eyes shot up at Josh's question. "Are you happy with him?"

She thought back to that night crying on the couch, his arms wrapped around her. Waking up next to him in bed. Making dinner, doing the dishes. Arguing over whether orange and grape soda could be considered a fruit. Debating which one was better: peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and marshmallow fluff. In Kate's mind fluff would win hands down any day. She and Alexis sacked out on the couch watching sappy romantic movies as Rick made gagging noises and reenacted the zombie apocalypse behind them. The feel of his hand running up her naked leg as he kissed her neck. Running around the loft barefoot playing top of the line laser tag.

She let out a soft smile. "Yeah, I am. I am very happy."

"Then go home, Kate. Talk to him. I may hate the man, but I know he loves you. Whatever his reasoning is for not telling you, I can guarantee he wasn't trying to hurt you."

_Go home, Kate. _

She smiled and pulled her hair back up into the messy bun. He was right, it was time for her to go home.

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><p>AN: So what did you think? Did DMB do right?


	5. Chapter 5

The Eight Deaths of Richard Castle 

A/N: First off, thank you so much for all of your reviews for the last chapter! Seriously, you all rock my socks and I am so happy you liked it and I was able to reach my ultimate goal in life (not really) but I was able to get some of you to like Josh! Yes, *fist pump*. FTW! Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all why I wrote that chapter that way: everyone hates Josh because he was in the way of Kate and Castle being together. Totally get the hating, but overall he wasn't a bad guy. Afterall, Beckett did date him, and she does have pretty good taste in men (even if they aren't Castle), so I had to give him a small chance to shine.

On that note, here is the last installment of Eight Deaths. Next up is The Seven Sins of Two Women (preview at the end). I hope you all enjoyed and are looking forward to the next installment. Remember, reviews are love, so let me know what you think of the ending. :)

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><p><span>Chapter 5<span>

Kate pushed the door to the cab shut and stared up at the building looming over her. The taxi sped off behind her and she gave Ernie a small, timid smile as he held the door open for her.

"Thanks, Ernie."

"For you, Detective, I would break down a wall and make you a door to walk through."

Kate chuckled. "Oh, Ernie. You always know what to say to a girl. Have a good night."

Ernie gave her a small nod. "You, too."

Kate gave him another small smile. So far it hadn't been going so well, but I girl could dream, right?

She pushed herself off of the back wall of the elevator as the bell chimed and the doors slid open. The walk to the front door of the loft was short, but the hallway seemed to only get longer as she walked from the lift. With a deep breath she turned the knob and let out a sigh of relief when the door swung open in front of her. Her boots hit the floor with a small thump as she pulled them off of her feet and padded over to the couch. Slowly, she sunk down into the cushions. What was it with her and couches? She was beginning to think she hated them or they hated her. Her legs curled up onto the seat as she leaned against the overstuffed arm.

"Where were you?"

Kate looked up to see Rick filling the doorway to the bedroom.

"I went for a walk," Kate's eyes flickered down to the floor before meeting his again. "I ended up at Josh's."

Rick sucked in a breath and Kate hurried to continue. "Nothing happened. I didn't go there for anything to happen. I promise. I just needed to talk to someone and I didn't have my phone or keys or any money and I looked up and saw his building. I just went inside and talked. I swear…"

"Kate."

"I'm sorry."

Kate picked at her fingernail as Rick came over to sit next to her.

"I'm the one that's sorry. I should have told you, but…" Castle started, but trailed off as he tried to find the words.

"What's going on, Rick? Just tell me please, because my mind keeps coming up with so many reasons and I don't want to believe any of them are true because they are so horrible…"

Castle looked up to see the fear and doubt reflected in her eyes and sighed.

"I got a call a few months ago, right after you came back to the precinct. He said he was a friend of Montgomery's and that before he had died Roy had sent him a file. It contained information that Roy had used to blackmail those who started all of this. He used it to protect his family and you. The man said that as long as he had that file he could keep you safe, but it would only work if you stopped investigating the case; if you walked away."

Castle paused and reached up a hand to brush away a tear away from Kate's cheek.

"So, I talked you into walking away. I just wanted to protect you Kate. I couldn't lose you again and I knew that if I had told you that you would just keep going. You would run into the hail of bullets again and I would lose you forever. This way, even if you hated me, if you never wanted to speak to me again, I could live with it, because I knew you were still alive out there. But I couldn't bear to watch you die again."

Kate looked at him in awe. He was trying to protect her? "But then why did you keep looking into it? Why wouldn't you just walk away, too?"

Rick studied his hands as his fingers rung together. "Because you still needed the closure. I figured if I kept looking then I could solve it on my own and no one ever needed to know until all the pieces fit."

Kate nodded. "But how is that any different, Castle? Someone is still looking into it? Why does it matter who it is?"

Castle sighed and sunk back into the overstuffed couch cushion. "I don't know. I guess I wasn't thinking that far ahead."

Kate turned her head to look at the man sitting beside her: the man who was always trying to support her and protect her. She used to think that he did it because he thought she was weak, that she couldn't protect herself. But that wasn't it. He was trying to protect her, but it wasn't because she was weak, it was because she was too strong. She was too strong to back down, to stop, to let herself ask for help. He was trying to protect her from herself.

"I can't let this go, Castle. I can't just let my mom die and not know why. But I can promise to be more careful. I can back away and walk away for now. I took down the murder board in my apartment the day I told you I loved you. I let myself walk away and learn to be happy. I am happy with you and there is nowhere else I want to be right now. But I can't let it go forever…"

She paused as his eyes drifted to the floor, looking momentarily defeated. She reached out to grab his hand. "Just promise me that you will put away that file, and let us be happy for a while. Then when I am ready, when _we_ are ready, we can open it up and solve it together. Can you do that?"

Rick looked up and gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I think I can do that."

They both fell silent as they sat there in the dark, on the couch, with their hands and fingers intertwined between them. Both staring at the darkened corners of the apartment lost in their own thoughts as exhaustion hit them both like a brick.

"But you have to promise me one thing, also," Rick rebutted.

"What's that?" Kate looked over at him.

"Promise me you will stop running around the city in the middle of the night in your pajamas. Ernie might start to think that you are insane."

Kate smiled and pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth. "I promise… Can we go to bed now?"

Castle sighed and pushed himself off of the couch, holding his hand out to her.

"So…" He began again as she trailed behind him into the bedroom. "How's Josh."

Kate stumbled slightly and closed her eyes. She should have known he wouldn't just let that one go. "He's good. I met his fiancé; she seems nice. I think we might be invited to the wedding."

Rick groaned as he flopped back on the bed. "Can we just send them a crock pot or something? I really don't like that man."

Kate pulled off her jeans and collapsed beside him, flicking him in the arm with a single finger. "He's a good man."

"He's your ex. I am obligated to hate him."

"I broke up with him for you, you know."

"Yeah, I know… I still don't have to like him."

"It's okay. The feeling is mutual. He hates you, too."

"Me? What did I do wrong?"

Kate craned her neck to look up at him and gave him a small kiss on the chin before turning to curl into his side. "You were the man I was in love with."

"Oh, that. I'm not going to apologize for that. Now, hush Woman, I'm trying to sleep."

"Don't call me Woman and for the record, I am glad I went for that walk. It gave me a lot of time to think."

"Really? What did you think about?"

"All the different ways I could murder you and not get caught."

Castle let out a snort of amusement. Touché. "So how many did you come up with?"

"Eight."

Castle's ears perked up. "Eight? Really? The most I have ever been able to come up with was four. What were they?"

"Oh, now you want to hear what I have to say."

"What can I say, you are my muse. So, tell me, oh wise one, what do you have?"

"Well, the first one involved an icicle…" Kate began as she flipped over so she was lying on top of his stomach with her head propped on her hands.

"An icicle? Really? That is so overdone," Castle huffed and smiled playfully down at her as he ran a hand through her hair and pulled out the rubber band, letting it fall in waves down her back.

"Hush, I'm trying to inspire you."

She looked up at him as she let herself slide back into their easy, playful banter. Everything would be all right. In the morning they would get up and go to the precinct. He would bring her coffee and make her eat when her blood sugar dropped so low that she began to get grouchy. Then, one day soon, when they were both ready they would turn on the murder board and sit down to solve her shooting and her mother's stabbing.

Together.

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><p>Fin.<p>

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><p>Preview: The Seven Sins of Two Women<p>

Kate B./Alexis C. Based loosely on Heartbreak Hotel, but completely ignoring the timeline of the show.

Kate sighed as she hung up the phone. Of course, she would end up having to go down to Atlantic City. All she had wanted was a quiet night at home, curled up with a book and a glass of wine, maybe even taking a bath in Rick's swimming pool sized bathtub. Now, she had to go and rescue them from whatever trouble they were getting themselves into. She rolled her eyes and slid her phone into her pocket as she pulled out her keys. She wouldn't bother to call Alexis; she had to stop by the loft on her way out of town anyway to pack a bag.

The elevator dinged and Kate felt the music before she heard it. _What the hell?_ She stepped into the hall to find teenagers streaming into Rick's apartment and she could hear the telltale sounds of a party flowing from the open doorway. Slowly, she made her way forward, reaching for her badge as she pushed the potentially inebriated individuals out of her way. She looked around and caught the flash of a red heading for the stairs. Their eyes met across the crowd and Kate saw Alexis freeze. Kate's forehead creased and her eyes narrowed at the girl.

She really didn't have time for this.


End file.
